Still in One Piece

But not for lack of trying.

If by chance I did any of the things that I most certainly DID NOT this week, I would be lucky to still be standing.

* There is no way that I spilled half a box of penne on the floor and then played "pick up" with Ellis. Rinsed them off, and cooked them for dinner. I mean, boiling kills germs and all, but there is still no way I would have done that!

* I did not nearly toss Ellis down the steps when she grabbed onto my shirt and in the process pinched the area where one of the moles was removed this week. I mean, seriously, even in times of excruciating pain your child's safety comes first, right?

* I did not nearly lose a finger when I got my ring stuck on the garage door while attempting to open it. Because I would not be trying manually open it since it is AUTOMATIC, right? And I certainly wouldn't have been on a ladder trying to trouble shoot why the opener wasn't working, only to finally figure out that the wall button had been put into Vacation Locked Mode. Because that would be the first thing to check. OBVIOUSLY. Because every one on the planet knows that you can lock the garage door opener.