Silence

I woke up yesterday with no voice. Not a hoarse one. NO voice. This had followed a few days a scratchy, little bit sore throat, but no big deal. Must be true laryngitis. Which I don't think I have ever experienced before. I feel fine. I can only make the faintest, high pitched whisper. And only for very brief sentences.

This made for a very rough day. Chase and Ellis were SO frustrated with me.

They wanted me to speak.

To read books. [And screen directions on computer games.]

To offer menu suggestions.

To answer deep and meaningful questions. [Such as, "Why can't you talk to me. You look fine. You must not care about me if you won't talk to me.]

So they filled the silence with whining and crying.

I even resorted to mowing the grass to get some PEACE and QUIET.

Last night, Ellis woke me at 4am. She was wailing at my bedside. I whispered "Calm down and tell me what is wrong."

I really need a little heads up, when woken from a dead sleep, as to what I am going to be facing.

"DDDDaaarrrkkk. Dddaaddyyy. You come sleep with me!"

Still in a fog, I am trying to ask questions. "Did you wet the bed? Do you want to hop in bed with me?" More wailing. "Bbbabby doll. Dddaadddy!"

So I give in and carry her back to her bed. I lay down with her and she stops sobbing. She calmly tells me that I need to be there because her daddy made her room too dark and threw her baby doll on the floor.

Poor Mark. Being blamed for such strange offenses.

But I discovered something. Whispers are louder in the dark. Ellis could hear me and converse with me. Something we never managed to do all day.

It's the same way with God. We spend our days yelling and crying and whining at Him. Mad because we think He isn't talking to us and doesn't care about us. But He was there caring and whispering the whole time. We just need to find that dark, calm moment to actually hear Him. And probably why He seems to speak the loudest when things seem darkest. But it isn't that He is talking any louder. It is just that whispers ARE louder in the dark!